Shitty funny life (3/3)

And finally, after so many pissing off sentences, my absolute favourite one, the one that got me laughing on a Eurostar train bound to Paris so madly that the old lady next to me was tempted to call security staff and ask them to throw me out the window in the middle of the Channel Tunnel. You'll need a bit of background here, you'll need to know who Susan Boyle is, check this out first. And then the quote (it's a bit harsh, but fun nonetheless):

Everyone keeps asking me if Susan Boyle is a relative. Of course not - none of them will ever manage to chisel their way out of that cellar. I suppose we do have things in common; I look ridiculous dressed as a woman too. Come on, Susan Boyle does look uncannily like Mrs Doubtfire as played by Gordon Brown. She had a lot of people laughing at her because of ther looks, but what people don't realise is that she's probably one of the best-looking people in West Lothian.

I can't make too many jokes about Susan Boyle as the British public have taken her to their heart. What can I say? Britain loves a dog. Sorry, underdog. Let's be honest and say that God broke the mould, just before he made her. Susan claims she has never been kissed. ON that evidence alone, Scotland's alcohol problems are not nearly as bad as previously imagined. OK, so she hasn't been kissed, but this is Scotland. I'll bet she's been fingered on a school trip to Largs. There are probably thousands of Susan Boyles out there who were worried about coming forward in case they got laughed at - and let's just hope her success doesn't change that.